The Consequences Of Negative Anger
For a moment take yourself back to an anger situation that had a negative outcome. Think about a time where you regret saying or doing something that had far-reaching and long-lasting consequences for you or your loved ones. What do you remember as the worst thing about this event? What it makes it so bad? What do you wish you could take back?
When I ask my counseling clients to recall this type of scenario the answer is unfortunately too often the same. The thing they most deeply regret is their outburst of negative and uncontrolled anger. For some it is saying hurtful things to those they love, for others it is ending relationships in a fit of fury, and for others their uncontrolled rage results in the destruction of families, lives, hopes and dreams.
In the aftermath of feeling mad, it’s easy to spot the damage done. There are visible signs, tears on the face of children, anguish on the face of loved ones or a heavy silence hanging in the air after a loud shouting match. Desperate attempts at repair are made, some successful some not so successful.
But on the surface things may appear calm the effects of unhealthy anger are far-reaching, especially to oneself. Solving conflict with anger, yelling or violence sets an unhealthy precedent in relationships ignoring the need for open, trusting communication.
So, whilst anger affects those around you it also affects YOU. Clinging tightly to resentments is one of the most efficient ways to cause lasting and permanent damage in your life. When your anger lingers it becomes increasingly difficult to cope with life’s frustrations in mindful ways, and it becomes harder and harder to de-stress. When anger hangs around it can be hard to focus on tasks, accomplish projects or enjoy extra-curricular activities.
This sort of unexpressed anger leaks out at loved ones, friends or colleagues and serves to push others away. If you feel constantly angry and stressed it’s unlikely that you’ll you are enjoying life, feeling fulfilled or looking forward to the future. Everything can become tainted with the brush of anger if it’s not dealt with. Excessive anger puts your physical and mental health at risk in ways that result in long-term damage to both mind and body.
As we can see destructive anger whether expressed externally (towards others) or internally (towards the self) sets one on a path to even greater problems. It has a negative on relationships, emotional states, physical and mental health, sense of wellbeing and overall happiness in life.
When left to grow it sets off a spiral of negativity gathers momentum over time. Living with anger means living with a deep sense of hurt and regret. So whilst you may just think that angry outburst isn’t hurting anyone, take a closer look and you might be surprised at what you uncover. The key is turn this uncontrolled anger into a tool that is purposeful and hopeful, and not as a means to exert power and control. Transform your anger by taking one of our online anger management courses.